i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
