: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
