you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
