i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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