she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
