Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
