end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
