he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
