He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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