Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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