Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
