its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
