Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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