He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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