i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
