Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
