i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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