I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what day is it and did you see me today?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
