this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
