she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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