When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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