The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
