apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
