Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You pole danced in your parka.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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