I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
