I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
