I didn't shave. On purpose
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
