i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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