when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
