I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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