Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
tell me about the eggs
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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