I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
