Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
