He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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