Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
