I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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