I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
