I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
