I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i need some magic done to my vagina
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
