Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
