I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my shit smells like andre
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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