Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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