I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
