I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
