i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
