it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
