Me. At least after what I've been through.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
