you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
