She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
