There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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